Lyrics and Assumptions 

    Myself and Wildside owner Paddy Aldridge were recently featured on a radio show called "Beyond the Mundane", (which is run out of realityradio101.com).  In addition to talking a little bit about my music, I was able to talk about some of the lyrics to the songs "Pretty", "Whipped Cream", "All for You", and "Down" which were played on the show.  If any one has read or heard the lyrics, there's no doubt that the first three have a sexual nature to them while the last one "Down" doesn't.
    About a week later I found out that the lyrical subject matter of these songs led the owner of realityradio101.com to assume that I was gay.  However I was defended by the producer of "Beyond the Mundane" who assured the owner that I was indeed not gay.

    This made me think of a few issues.  Was the owner just stating his opinion, or was he making a negative comment about being gay?  After all, if I had been doing RnB music, he might have said that anyone who does music like that must be black.  The issue for me isn't whether someone thinks I'm gay or not, or thinks I'm black or not, it's his implication that someone may look, act, or be a certain way based on limited evidence.  While everyone is entitled to their opinion, it can be frustrating when it's a misguided one.
    Another issue could be that perhaps he was simply ranting off on how he doesn't like the concept of gays and sex.  Fair enough, I don't like eggs, I think they taste awful and are gross.  Same with porridge.  I could rant for ages about my dislike for these two well known hearty breakfast meals.  However, I don't let my dislike of these two food items affect other people.  I don't look down on people who like eggs and porridge and I don't think everyone should stop eating eggs and porridge.  Perhaps that was what the owner was getting at.  Just a rant at his dislike at the idea of men with men without judging them.  
    However, if in his misguided thinking of me being gay, he added that he didn't ever want me back on the show because of it, that would be a homophobic issue which I would have a problem with as I have no time for bigotry in my life.
    For now, I'll file this issue under "no judgment until I get proof" category.

Wilton

 

1 comment

  • Elsie

    Elsie Toronto

    Yes I agree Wilton. Folks show true colours at the strangest times. Of course this means assumptions have been made about me too. I seems to be the accepted one in this scenario, yet I hold the beliefs and values that would make the owner sick if I understand his comment clearly. I don't appear to be gay. I am married to a man. But I am not straight either. My family and friends know I feel I cannot define gender and put barriers upon it. Folks might label me as bi or something else. But I cannot even define it as that. For me gender has absolutely no bearing on how a person loves or is attracted to another. I believe in soul mate seeking and my mind and body does not define that journey by gender. Just because I am in a very long term relationship with a man, I am just not that outside package and never will be. I too see that I am treated very much like an average housewife in pearls by a certain age group. I don't try to go out of their way to change my mind. I voice my opinion regularly on my dislike of the labels homosexual, heterosexual and transsexual and bisexual. Because I know none of them fit me. I don't define myself by my sexual preferences. I define myself on my journey. I told the executive producer that if the owner really saw me and knew me for who I am and what I believe he would also be uncomfortable with me. There are people who stick to those labels out of fear. Fear of not understanding what it is truly all about....and possibly fear of being the apple of someone's eye of the same sex. I always find it interesting they usually have no trouble talking about tits and asses though. So it is ok to edify women sexually but it not ok to edify life changing behaviors like cross dressing, or same sex partners. I am not angry about it. It saddens me that some folks will just never get it, and it isn't even worth trying to change their mind. One day there will be a guest on the show which will just suddenly blow this whole revelation about me to the forefront. Poignant conversation can never be avoided. I hope that day will be a revelation day for the folks with fear.

    Yes I agree Wilton.
    Folks show true colours at the strangest times.
    Of course this means assumptions have been made about me too.
    I seems to be the accepted one in this scenario, yet I hold the beliefs and values that would make the owner sick if I understand his comment clearly.
    I don't appear to be gay. I am married to a man. But I am not straight either. My family and friends know I feel I cannot define gender and put barriers upon it. Folks might label me as bi or something else. But I cannot even define it as that. For me gender has absolutely no bearing on how a person loves or is attracted to another.
    I believe in soul mate seeking and my mind and body does not define that journey by gender.
    Just because I am in a very long term relationship with a man, I am just not that outside package and never will be.
    I too see that I am treated very much like an average housewife in pearls by a certain age group.
    I don't try to go out of their way to change my mind.
    I voice my opinion regularly on my dislike of the labels homosexual, heterosexual and transsexual and bisexual. Because I know none of them fit me. I don't define myself by my sexual preferences. I define myself on my journey.
    I told the executive producer that if the owner really saw me and knew me for who I am and what I believe he would also be uncomfortable with me.
    There are people who stick to those labels out of fear. Fear of not understanding what it is truly all about....and possibly fear of being the apple of someone's eye of the same sex. I always find it interesting they usually have no trouble talking about tits and asses though. So it is ok to edify women sexually but it not ok to edify life changing behaviors like cross dressing, or same sex partners.
    I am not angry about it. It saddens me that some folks will just never get it, and it isn't even worth trying to change their mind.
    One day there will be a guest on the show which will just suddenly blow this whole revelation about me to the forefront.
    Poignant conversation can never be avoided. I hope that day will be a revelation day for the folks with fear.

Add comment